First
Thursday Art Stroll in Boise
(For ARTChic Magazine)
By: Patrick M.
Kennedy
First
Thursday takes place each month throughout the downtown Boise area. It focuses
on providing visitors the opportunity to stroll through the unique galleries and
shops while enjoying in-store entertainment, live music in the streets, and special
events. This event is from 5:00-9:00 pm and has been going on for over 20 years.
Galleries throw open the doors, museums stay open late, and visitors wander
from door to door. Sidewalk cafes flurry with artists and art patrons eating and
drinking and chatting. They celebrate the downtown area's diverse entertainment
and art offerings; the event has become a meeting place for locals from throughout
the area. The events and artists change monthly but always offer an intriguing
evening, and range from art talks at the Boise Art Museum to coffee shops featuring
photography exhibits.
Up to 30 downtown businesses remain open for the
event and displays are in one form or another. You can get anything from 10% off
your Harley-Davison motorcycle or a Free Tan.
Event-goers can stroll
along the streets, or take a load off and ride the FREE Boise Trolley, sponsored
by the Downtown Boise Association (DBA), between 10 different stops in the area
from 5:30 to 9:30 p.m.
At least twenty or more galleries and participating
businesses open their doors with new shows.
The Basement Gallery, owned by
Perry Allen, this month featured several artists including the works of Tarmo
Watia, Kirsten Furlong, Blown Glass by Matthew Jordan, Stoneware Sculpture by
Sue Rooke, and the guitar, paintings and drawings by Mike Flinn.
Mike Flinn, in collaboration with guitar maker John Bolin, displayed his
latest creation, 'Rockin' Guitar'. It is a fine alder-bodied instrument designed
with deep dark and light contrasts of sepia and umber; and almost looks like tanned
leather. He also displayed, among others, an oil painting on canvas titled, 'Other
Than That, Everything's Perfect' as well as a collection of his drawings.
The Brown Gallery
displayed the abstract landscape paintings of Charles Sites. He grew up on Idaho,
lived in Boise for several years, and now lives in Portland, Oregon, but often
returns to his roots. The hills and changing light contrasts of the Idaho terrain
are a great influence in his work. In the background, while viewing this serene
art, floats soothing classical guitar music.
Art Source Gallery presented
Michael Falvey's 'Postcards from Home: Boise Images', which display some of Boise's
scenes.
The Boise Art Museum featured half-priced admission for its 'Frank
Lloyd Wright and the House Beautiful Exhibit'.
Gallery 601 had artists
S. Sam Park and June Carey to take you through scenes of California vineyards
and the shores of the Amalfi Coast, Italy.
The Lisk Gallery had the sometimes
haunting, and the sometimes I-wish-I-could-be-there photography of Jerry Lisk.
Black and White as well as color photos of the desert, rivers, salt flats, and
mountains … as can only be seen by the patient eye of a talented photographer
looking for that right moment to snap the shutter. Also shown at the Lisk Gallery
you will find the work of jewelry artist, Kay Seurat.
The Pie Hole, a
late night pizza joint and recent participant of displaying art, carried over
from last month the fine art of Angi Grow. A style she calls 'street pop' is sort
of a combinations of slick 80s pop, comic book art and industrial sensibility.
She is a fan of graffiti and her work reflects that feeling.
Boise Art
Glass was throwing its grand opening for its studio with a live glass demo, music
by Frame Of Mind, and Food, Beer and Wine.
Mountain West Bank displayed
work by photographer David Day. Reception and refreshments were served from 5:30-9
p.m.
Villano's Specialty Market and Deli offered wine, music by Scot Oliver
and an exhibit of watercolor artist Dixie Anderson.
At the BoDo Marketplace
you can hear singer and songwriter Jimmy Bivens play next to Tully's patio from
7 to 10 p.m. It is located in the heart of the cultural district south of Front
Street and includes warehouses converted into shops, offices, performance spaces
and restaurants.
The 'Quilt Walk' was put on this month with 35 fine-art
quilts on display throughout Downtown galleries and businesses; put on by the
Boise Basin Quilters.
If you are a Northwest artist or art lover, then
Boise's First Thursday is a place to visit for news and views of all genres of
arts and crafts. It's a fun night and worth the visit.
Las
Vegas First Friday Art
(Roadside Item for Nevada Magazine)
By: Patrick M. Kennedy
In
Las Vegas, on First Friday at 6pm of every month, a few streets are shut down
and the more than 70 galleries, studios, shops and restaurants in and around the
Charleston and Main area throw open the doors to the public. It is the Downtown
Arts District between the The Strip and Downtown Fremont areas of the city. The
people who comprise this vibrant area are local as well as those who immigrate
from all over the country and the world. They invite you to tour the galleries
and studios, talk one-on-one with the artists and observe them actively paint
with sand, put oil on canvas, and shape their latest sculpture from a variety
of materials. Be sure to taste the food from the booths and restaurants serving
everything from tacos to Bar-B-Q to ethnic foods, and enjoy the live music from
folk and blues bands set up on street stages.
Free
busses route around the area to move visitors from a Free Parking garage to the
Arts Factory, Holsum Lofts, to galleries and restaurants on Main Street, Antique
Row, and Commerce Street Studios; or just walk and enjoy the electric atmosphere
along the way.
Additional
First Friday Event information, gallery lists, and maps can be found at their
web site: http://www.firstfriday-lasvegas.org/ Or for further information (702)
384-0092.
Press
Release Copy Sample
For
E-mail or a Letter
Subject: An exciting new senior's book has
just been published:
How to Have Fun with Retirement - by Patrick M.
Kennedy
It explores the lighter side of retired life; that is, fun and retirement
should be one and the same.
A collection of light-hearted, witty, yet informative
articles about seniors and retirement living. They are written by Patrick Kennedy
for the SENIOR WIRE NEW SERVICE, the nation's leading syndication of news, information
and features for mature market publications.
This book is overloaded with
absurdity as well as helpful hints to make the retirement life transition easier
to take hold of and enjoy from that first Monday morning. There are so many alternatives
and choices, and this book tries to make retirement and fun one and the same.
A
sampling of the table of content reveals humorous articles that explore a variety
of subjects: Your Gastronomic Chemistry Set; Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda; Packrat
Assets: The Body's Worth; Seventh Sense of Seniors; Hunting the Elusive Hobby;
Oh, Am I Driving?; A Second Heartbeat; Walking Excursions; and many more.
In
addition to the articles, there are tad bits of useful, and useless, information
to enhance the FUN in RETIREMENT: Dreams, fantasies, facts, jokes, and elucidations.
They are based on semi-scientific papers and true stories told by a liar. They
are personal experiences as posted and blogged through the Internet and passed
on as remedies and antidotes for the human condition … plus, just plain-old
made-up stuff.
How to Have Fun with Retirement will help the retiree make
the transition much easier to handle.
"It's a great fun read, helpful
and enlightening as well. I like the
tone and graphics as well. It's for and
about seniors but it's got a young
voice to it." Rick Anderson, The Seattle
Weekly.
"Well written with good information, and humorous zingers
thrown
in throughout to keep you alert."
John Ybarra, Publishers Representative.
Patrick
Kennedy is a professional writer, editor and graphic artist and has been for over
30 years. He wrote a novel, Toy Shadows, published by Writers Showcase. He has
also published articles, short stories and poem in a variety of magazines and
books. He just completed several contract writing jobs and continues to write
regular witty, yet informative, columns distributed through the Senior Wire News
Service, the foundation of this book. He also writes columns for several local
newspapers and web sites.
30
If you want more information about the book,
a Table of Contents, and sample art and couple of articles can be seen at the
web site:
http://www.funwithretirement.com/
If you are interested in exploring
the book further, or writing a review, an e-book can be e-mailed to you.
If
you would like a little more information about the writer or the book, you can
call Pat at xxx-xxx-xxxx or e-mail him at patk@abetterword.com. Or you can access
his web page at http://www.abetterword.com/ for background, writing samples, and
a photo.
Non-Fiction
Book Query
To: XXXXXXXX editor
XXXXXXXXX
Publishing Co.
Subject: Query: How to Have Fun with Retirement
Dear
XXXXX
As a recently retired writer/editor/graphic artist I have become familiar
first hand with How to Have Fun with Retirement, the working title of my book.
I've written a collection of lighthearted articles/essays that explore and analyze
the real-life transition from the work world to retired life … the little
things that make life easier and more fun. Most of these articles have been published
through the Senior Wire News Service under my regularly contributed column, Inside
Out & Round About. Many have appeared in other publications and books.
The
articles take a humorous yet informative approach to dealing with the important
transitional functions, as well as socially adapting to the new life style. In
addition, I have assembled a wealth of information, quotes from present retirees,
humorous stories and suggestions, and general senior trivia.
The
growth of the retired population is currently hitting the market. 77 million Boomers
will begin retiring in the year 2006. Citizens in that age group and those approaching
it are looking for information and guidance. There are several books that deal
with the financial and health approach to retirement, but this book looks at the
little things in life with a sometimes bizarre yet informative approach. Things
like: Where to live? How the eat? What to wear? What to do with spare time? How
to have fun?
Over time I've also worked at a yellow-page
list of occupations as well as being a writer/editor/graphic artist for major
corporations. This gives me a wide-ranging list of experience to call on. I was
a partner in an advertising agency and I've worked for years in the marketing
field. I know how to make presentations, and make sales. I've published a novel,
Toy Shadows, and several articles and short stories in magazines. Writing samples
and information about me are located on my web page: www.abetterword.com
If
you wish to look over my proposal or a copy of How to Have Fun with Retirement,
please contact me at this e-mail address, through my web site, or the information
below. I can mail a hardcopy of the book, or e-mail an attached .pdf file for
an e-book copy.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Patrick
M. Kennedy
patk@abetterword.com
www.abetterword.com
When
I’m Retired
Or:The
perfect plan for everyone
(Published in Menstuff)
Patrick
M. Kennedy
When I'm a retired cranky-old-man
Boomer I will brag I have the perfect plan all laid out. All the things and wings
of happiness are spread out before me like a wet blanket over a bed of roses.
My years of experience in life’s games and the practice sessions have made
it easy to see my future.
When I’m retired I'll live with and
off my children and bring them the great joy they gave me when I was their parent.
To repay for all experiences I've taken from each daughter and son, I’ll
decorate their walls with indelible pens and scuff up the floors with my hiking
boots on, and run in and out without closing the door, including the refrigerator.
Break lots of dishes and drop apple cores on the floor. And whenever they yell
at me, I'll hang my head and pout … things like that … just like I remember.
When I’m retired I’ll drive if I want to, even if they try to
sneak the eye chart further away, or lower the driver’s seat in my car so
I can’t see over the steering wheel. I’ll know it, and they won’t
fool me. I’ll know that I’ve gotten old, no secret, probably because
I had two by-pass surgeries, a hip replacement and new knees, fought prostate
cancer, and diabetes. I'll likely be half blind, won’t be able hear anything
quieter than a power-mower engine, take a bunch of different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia, have
poor circulation, hardly can feel my hands and feet anymore, and won’t be
able to remember my birthday let alone if I'm 35 or 92. I’ll probably have
lost all my friends.
“But ... Thank heavens; I will still have
my driver's license and can go to other places to avoid my troubles and meet new
friends!”
When I’m retired I’ll keep in shape, not
like now, but in which shape I haven’t decided, yet. I’ll walk for 30
minutes every day, whenever I feel like it, or remember it. I’ll stretch
what muscles I have left. I’ll turn wrinkled, gray and smaller like everyone
else, and the doctor will tell me that lie, just like he does now, “You're
in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever;
you have the body of a 35-year-old.” Pretty good for someone as old as me,
huh? He’s been telling me that same lie all this time and I haven’t
aged a bit.
“Gosh! What a good doctor he is to get me this
far along, and in this shape,” I will say, “and still at a young age.
I know he’s good, because he’s still alive.” I will think.
When I’m retired I’ll have no peer pressure, or even pee pressure,
because at seven I always peed like a horse, at eight I pooped like a cow, so
the problem will be, I know, and I hope, I don’t sleep past nine. Maybe one
of my fellow peers will call me to see if I’m asleep yet. But I won’t
be alone, because I’ll know, like everyone, that everything that works will
hurt, and what doesn't hurt, won’t work. I’ll be able to buckle my own
belt every time I need to, but won’t be able to unbuckle my knees to stand
up to do it. My supply of brain parts and pieces will finally be down to a manageable
size, not so loaded up with trivia from the job, and filled with dreams of running
and jumping.
“I’ll have to excuse myself a little more
often then than now.”
When I’m retired I’ll drink
with the same moderation as I always have. I’ve also learned the hard way
that lying doesn’t pay, unless I’m in a bar talking about the night
before, or talking to my mate the next morning about how much I had to drink …
and with whom. I still must do that. But, back to drinking, I’ll quit the
hand-over-fist-fast marathon drinking practices I had in my younger days, and
taper back to left-hand then right- hand then left-hand to slow me down. I’ll
have parties but the neighbors won’t even know it … because, like I’ve
said, I’ll have lost a few friends, and the ones I will still have will probably
be as quiet as hospital patients.
“I will miss my two-fisted
friends with motorcycles who will be replaced; I’m sure, by white-knuckled
power-chair riders of the open range/hallway.”
When I’m
retired I’ll have sex once in a while, sometimes, as often as I can, or whenever
I feel like it, or at least once. I will still have an eye for the opposite sex.
I will know the good from the bad; the maybe from the not-sure; the desperate
from those like me; and the don’t-give-a-darn from who-cares-with-who-anyhow
characters I use to hang out with. But when it comes right down to it I probably
won’t miss sex, physically impossible speaking, as much as I’d miss
a lost hearing aid or a pair of glasses. Dreams will be a wonderful replacement
for reality, in many cases ... I think.
“Sex is so over rated,
over rated, over rated, well anyhow, only semi-important.”
When
I’m retired I’ll tell jokes like Henny Youngman with the machine gun
attack style of a Jack Benny. I’ll make fun of the young and middle aged
because they are so open to all the stupid things they do. Just like us. I hope
politics and political parties are still around … what fun I’ll have.
I’d try standup comedy, but then, I don’t know if I will be able to.
By then, computers will be piles of junk and ESP will be in and I’ll be able
to tell jokes without moving my lips, or without anyone knowing it. They’ll
all be laughing on the inside. I can see it now, a whole room full of gray, blank,
red-eyed faces staring back at me knowing I’m nuts for what I’d just
said, ESPd, to them.
“What a thrill, I can hardly wait to try
it. I practiced it last week and it works.”
When I’m retired
I’ll take up bowling because I won’t have to walk as far as when golfing
… just three steps at a time. And the ball will be larger and easier to control
… and not lose. There will be a roof to stop the rain and blistering sun
which might further crust layer my skin. There will be a gallery of friends and
fans to cheer when I finally lift and roll the ball … and knock down a few
pins. Pretty young people will bring me beers to my table instead of having to
knock back a swig from a flask under the eyes of Mother Nature on the golf course
or the softball field. And who will care what my final score will be, as long
as I finish the game’s all ten frames.
“When I retire
I’ll be happy to play the game.”
When I’m retired
I’ll be my own cook. I’ll probably have to after having alienated all
those people in my life who ticked me off and won’t live with me. Besides,
cooking for one will be easier … and the menu will be simpler … I’m
told: Cereal with milk, cinnamon, and fruit in the morning; Soup and crackers
for lunch; a TV dinner for supper. What’s so different about that? And the
dirty dishes will be so much easier to keep up on.
“I’ll
even keep a supply of paper plates and cups, and eat over the sink, to keep things
neat.”
When I’m retired there are certain things I won’t
have to worry about anymore … like dressing and being fashionable …
who cares … the clothes I have now likely won’t wear out, and the fashion
police will quit following me around on my last day on the job, I’m sure.
I’ll get lower prices on theater tickets, senior meals at the restaurant,
and even special auto insurance rates.
Speed won’t matter
because I will have time to spare and plenty of time to get anywhere. I’ve
learned everything I can the hard way, so now I can learn things the easy way
… if there is such a way. My eyes and ears won’t get much worse, and
technology will only get better. ‘Maybe I will’ and ‘maybe I won’t’
will be my standard answer to things I may or may not want to do.
When
I’m retired, life won’t be so bad, if I don’t forget where I put
this plan.
Laughlin
Rocks
By:
Patrick M. Kennedy
Laughlin
Nevada is a small town that centers bustling activity. It's a young city with
a blazing history and year-round warm weather. It's just a short hour-and-a-half
drive south from Las Vegas and is easily accessible on major highways from Southern
California and Arizona. It has grown from a motel and a bar in the 1940s that
accommodated the miners of the area and the workers from Boulder Dam, to a Colorado
River resort town catering to tourists with an adventurous spirit. It has a small
town atmosphere with big city entertainment. This can be a day trip, or a vacation
destination.
Ten resorts with nearly 11,000 rooms are located on a cozy strip along the Colorado
River and most are accessible from a comfortable river walk. Each resort has an
assortment of entertainment, dining, gaming and recreation. RV travelers can find
more than 800 hookups. If you want to travel by air, the Laughlin/Bullhead City
International Airport (IFP) has daily incoming flights from as many as five airlines
arriving in regular and chartered flights.
Other attractions include the water taxi service that will sail you from casino
to casino; or take you on a special 6-hour round trip jet-boat tour on the river
to the London Bridge in Lake Havasu City, Arizona. North of Laughlin a couple
of miles is Davis Dam which has created Lake Mohave with 200 miles of shoreline,
coves and secluded areas. It also offers fishing, boating, camping and water skiing.
Seven miles west of Davis Dam is Christmas Tree Pass and Grapevine Canyon, an
ideal site for hiking, camping, taking photos, and general exploring. Nearby is
the Katherine Mine that boomed in the 19th century as a gold mine. There are also
four golf courses in the area, each with a unique character and challenge.
For more information you can access the web site; www.visitlaughlin.com or call
the Visitor's Bureau at 800-4-LAUGHLIN.
How
to Have Fun on $45 per Day
(A
Guide for Retirement)
By:
Patrick M. Kennedy
Once
upon a time there was a book called, 'Europe on $5 per day' by Arthur Frommer.
Those were the happy days. It's currently in the range of $70 per day. Taking
that formula further into today's economy, living on $45 per day in retirement
in the U.S. and having fun at the same time is a bona fide stretch, even by any
miser's imagination.
However, of course, we are considering one person. If there are two, you can probably
skimp by on about $65. Half the world - nearly three billion people - live on
less than two dollars a day. That's not funny, but it's not a fair comparison
because they don't have to pay $5 for a paper cup of coffee.
$45 was not a number picked out of the air. It is based on about the high payment
made to a retiree from Social Security if it is taken at full retirement age.
How do you live on $45 per day?
Move if you are renting.
Doing some fingers-tapping
research and putting the puzzle pieces together, the average rent in Miami, Florida
for a 2-bedroom apartment is about $1000 per month, in Las Vegas $830, Seattle
$1025, and so on. That's not funny, either. Let's hope your house is paid for
and the property taxes are low. That would be fun.
If you want to live
economically in the Western U.S. the lower rents are: Tucson offers the least
expensive apartments at an average of $616; Colorado Springs an average rent is
$709; Boise, Idaho's average rent is $706; Salt Lake City is $680 and Albuquerque
is $666.
It's a little tougher to live economically if you want to stay
in, or move to, the Eastern U.S.: Indianapolis, which is kind of Eastern, has
an average rent of $765; St. Louis, Missouri, $799; Philadelphia, $1,344.00; Baltimore,
$1,700.00; Atlanta, $1,084.00; and Jacksonville, $1,009.20. And New York is in
the stratosphere. Yikes!
Now a little averaging to compute some of those
rents toward a $45-a-day factor:
Las Vegas = $27.66 per day.
Seattle = $34.16
Baltimore = $56.66
Tucson = $20.53
Albuquerque = $22.20
Boise = $23.53
Philadelphia =
$44.80
Atlanta = $36.00
Miami = $33.33
It's
easy to see why Boomers are staying or will stay where they are, living in a paid
for home, or possibly move to the West or Southwest, where it's warmer and cheaper.
Utility Bills factored in have all the flavors and sizes of an ice cream
shop, and all the colors of a mottled rainbow. Who can figure, because they are
changing all the time (and for sure, not going lower), and dissimilar cities boast
their own power sources, and each apartment unit has its unique heating and air
conditioning system. It's a job for an IRS-type accountant to figure out.
But using a solid but uneducated-arbitrary factor, the utilities are in the
vicinity of 30% of the rental cost, the daily averages look something like this
for the cities listed with the utilities added in:
Las Vegas = $35.96 per day.
Seattle = $44.41
Baltimore = $73.66
Tucson = $26.69
Albuquerque = $28.86
Boise = $30.59
Philadelphia =
$58.24
Atlanta = $46.97
Miami = $42.90
Now
it becomes clearer, unfortunately, several cities have been eliminated from this
issue. But looking at the positive side: in Las Vegas $9.05 is available for Food
AND Fun each day; 60 cents in Seattle; $18.31 in Tucson; $11.81 in Boise; and
2 dollars and 10 cents in Miami. It is possible to live on this amount with a
minimal amount of fun. It all depends on what tickles your funny bone.
Of course, the above only takes into consideration major cities and one person.
There are small towns and suburbs that offer lower costs and are just as much,
if not more, fun. If there are two of you, you will have to spat over the fun-filled
difference: fishing or dancing. There are several other solutions. The most obvious
are to save money ahead of time, or maybe, rob a bank, win a Lottery, or have
a lot of rich relatives.
If not, apply for a library card and read a bunch of books.
Names
that Define the Fiction.
Patrick
M. Kennedy
It
isn’t predestination and divine intervention, or even evolution that direct a
man or woman to their path in life; their personality; their significance in history…it
is their name. It is the name they are born with or adopt that molds and directs
their fate and other people’s perceptions of them. The names I conjure up for
fiction, and so must you, must have the same ego-shaping effect. I can’t just
tag a character with any moniker. It must create an immediate image of the personality
traits I am trying to depict in my creative writing.
The
names in real life, either christened or contrived, are life-styling examples
to follow. Take the night-owl comic, Jay Leno (quite possibly his real name): A Jay is a noisy bird of the crow family with bright plumage, an impertinent
chatterer (quoth Webster). And Leno
perfectly describes a game or toy from Matelleã.
Could he be anything but a comedian? Enough said. David Letterman (to give equal billing) graduated from Ball State
University, which is funny enough, and later became a comedy writer (arranging
the alphabet letters into a string of thoughts that evoke laughter). He now enjoys
a modest lifestyle based on his manipulation of the real and the ironic, then
repeats it again, and again, and again…every night. What else could he be with
a name like that and a smidgen of talent?
Rocky
Balboa is probably not a pharmacist in Philadelphia, he’s more than likely
a pugilist, and Indiana Jones is not the governor. If I want to
write a tale of love, I don’t call the characters Rod and Reel…unless
it’s a love story about inanimate fishing objects, which is perfectly acceptable
in some circles of our society.
In
real life most names work and do not have to emerge from the mind's eye of a writer’s
brain. Look in the daily newspaper or phone book. They are loaded with persona
nomenclatures.
Didn’t Marion
Michael Morrison become a cowboy hero after he changed his name to John
Wayne? Can you hear Gabby Hays calling out? “Marion! Blast those dad-ratted
scoundrels!” Hardly! And Allen Stewart Konigsberg, doesn’t the image of Woody
Woodpecker skip across the movie screen behind your eyelids? Or is that Woody Allen you see? Nobody could laugh
at a ‘Konigsberg’s’ jokes…intentionally…except his immediate family. Harry Lillis
Crosby and Leslie Towne Hope became Bing and Bob…names people
came to associate with humor rather than odes to a sewing machine. See…it works,
this naming thing!
Athletes of
famous and even infamous claims are a breed all their own. Writing sports fiction
allows the juices to flow when choosing names. The existing ones are an adventurous
guideline. Dennis Rodman couldn’t be anything than what he is. Dennis the Menace is an obvious comparison.
But Rodman can be perfectly defined
by his refurbished, 1956-Cadillac muscle car, lowered & channeled, rolled
& pleated, 137 coats of tattoo attitude on the basketball court…and probably
explains the grease spots all over his NBA file. Hulk Hogan has to be a wrestler or a comic
book superhero, but Tiger Woods is not,
and is not a park in India. Joe Montana should be a rodeo rider from Butte,
not a 49ers quarterback from Notre Dame, and Orel Hersciser should be an
Evangelical minister and not a baseball pitcher. Catfish Hunter could be
just that. Enough! Most of the fun in writing sports fiction is drafting characters
with descriptive names.
To
label political characters in fiction, I sometimes must pilfer the names entertainers
throw out, like Morrison or Konigsberg or Harry Lillis
or Leslie Towne, for a gentler, kinder image. There’s a whole potpourri
of names to choose from in this category and they all smell the same. Avoid names
like Newt, Tip and Abe. They’ve been used and may elicit
an illogical definition to the character.
In
classic fiction, Major Major was the perfect reflection of the ‘I’m
in when I’m out, and I’m out when I’m in’ character in Catch 22. It depicts
the perfect illogical circle, which is the theme of the novel. It is speculated
that Holden Caulfield’s real name was J. D. Salinger after he grew
up to be a kid after adulthood. Who knows? Ahab is Baha backwards and seems
to fit his attitude in chasing Moby, but we’ll never know if that was Herman’s
intent. Gatsby is so close to gadabout you have to believe that was intentional.
‘The Great Gadabout’ as a title probably would have been a tougher sell.
What
exactly goes on in any writer’s mind when choosing a character’s name to mold
a story around? Is it like mixing latex paint with wallpaper to find an easy solution
to wall covering? It sounds easy, but will it work when exposed to the public?
All writers must go through the process, but who knows what it is. It’s more fun
than using the obituary column and throwing a dart at it. It’s similar to naming
artwork, some people are good at it, and most artists are not. But here it’s more
important than describing a pile of paint. All in all, names mold the character
of your story and perfectly describe the character, it’s easy, like choosing a
perfect dessert, like…Jello™…or Chocolate Moose…never mind…
Patrick
(or Pat to my unisex friends), Manvel (or Manuel to my Spanish amigos,
or plain M. to my academic associates), Kennedy (to all).
What’s
Funny? By:
Patrick M. Kennedy I’ve
been asked to write something funny. Now that brings up questions that merit well-informed
answers: What is funny? What is not? I’ve found, however, after extensive
thumbing through reference books, there are so many ways to define funny, and
so many synonyms, that it takes a mental breakdown and painstaking examination
to arrive even close to a semi-perfect conclusion, or at least an understanding
… maybe … of the definition. I’ve found that funny wears many faces
and claims many names. So what exactly drives the funny bone crazy?
Dipping
deep into this subject to expand my knowledge, I found that a comedy is a ‘medieval
narrative that ends happily … a drama of light and amusing character and
typically with a happy ending … the comic element … a humorous entertainment.’
A comic (not to be confused with a clown) I assume would be the source of the
funny stuff, if indeed it were what is truly funny. To be clear, a clown by one
definition is ‘specifically: a grotesquely dressed comedy performer in a
circus.’ I am going to be presumptuous here and assume that in modern times
this definition is not restricted to the circus. I have a neighbor who fits this
description by another definition.
Another
approach to the definition is amusing, that is ‘to divert the attention of
so as to deceive … to occupy the attention of … to entertain or occupy
in a light, playful, or pleasant manner … to appeal to the sense of humor
of’. This might also define a shill in a con game at a carnival, which is
not funny most of the time, especially if I lose my honey and my money.
Ha!
Maybe I am getting closer. A diversion of attention by a comic before a happy
ending may be the key to the definition. What’s funny should always have
a happy ending, right?
So
that leaves out —
·
Ridiculing, which is ‘the act of exposing to laughter’ (I assume that
means exposing someone else to laughter, and not me?);
·
Or belittling, which is ‘to speak slightingly of to cause (a person or thing)
to seem little or less’, and sounds a lot like my high school gym teacher;
·
Or how about sarcasm, a word derived from the Greek/Latin/Other Old Languages,
and means ‘to tear the flesh, bite the lips in rage, or sneer’. My-Oh-My,
that’s tough-love funny. But in Modern English it means ‘a sharp and
often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain’. I guess
I can questionably say that that isn’t funny, unless I am the star guest
at a Roast.
These
situations do not have a happy ending for the recipient of the belittling or the
ridicule or sarcasm…so I believe to them it’s not funny. But to the
rest of us … it’s a chortle and guffaw.
A
few other words boldly popped up as my eyes continued to follow my fingers that
flipped through the reference shelves:
·
Wit has one meaning that is close: ‘astuteness of perception or judgment…the
ability to relate seemingly disparate things so as to illuminate or amuse a talent
for banter or persiflage…a witty utterance or exchange…clever or apt
humor’.
·
Irony also comes close to a definition: ‘the use of words to express something
other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning … usually a
humorous or sardonic literary style or form characterized by irony’. Now
this all sounded pretty good, not saying what I mean, until the word sardonic
was thrown in, and that is downright unkind.
·
Sardonic is: ‘disdainfully or skeptically humorous … derisively mocking’,
in other words, scorning or doubting another. This doesn’t sound funny at
the receiving end.
There
are a few more words to quickly consider while rounding out this examination.
·
Flippant (flip) means ‘lacking proper respect or seriousness’ …
the word just sounds funny.
·
Kid (i.e., just kidding, I kid you not), means ‘to deceive as a joke …
to make fun … to engage in good-humored fooling or horseplay … often
used with the word around.’
·
Jest means ‘an utterance (as a jeer or quip) intended to be taken as mockery
or humor … a ludicrous circumstance or incident … a frivolous mood or
manner … gaiety and merriment.’
I
believe with the above three words I am again getting closer to finding out what’s
funny, but not yet arriving at a final answer.
It’s
a tough task for sure … trying to find out what’s funny. After all this
probing and examination, I can unequivocally state and positively clear things
up by saying that the definition of what’s funny is: everything is funny
and nothing is funny and it all depends upon your sense of humor and point of
view and state of mind and time of day and condition of the weather and which
way your head is cocked. What’s not funny is trying to find out what is funny.
A
Better Word
First
Thursday Art Stroll in Boise